Decided to write a post about rough bumps in the road today.
After all, I do live in New England currently. (insert pothole here)
I’ve been trying to get better at processing my bad days and my good days. Lately its been a little difficult to do even that. Nobody genuinely talks about the shitty parts of depression and anxiety. Two huge things that have continued to ransack my days here lately. One positive thing is I am now able to realize which is which between just a bad day and me relapsing.
Seasonal depression has been a factor of my life for quite a while. I know once I post this, I will have the comments of, “Well you don’t look sad.”
Things like this do not help, nor are they anywhere near helpful. It only makes me more upset and anxious about explaining how I feel.
With all of that said, I have had very good times as well lately. Ollie is finally healing, he had a surgery done and wasn’t healing properly and had to have a second surgery. Which means my house has been super chaotic. This all leading to rough bumps in the road. I have my days as anybody with anxiety will know happens and I can’t begin to explain how difficult it is to deal with somebody like me. Marlon has been making this look like a cake walk. I only wish to have half the perseverance he has. Anybody with a spouse who has a mental disorder will understand this post. This past weekend we did a lot to help our move in 5 months be a little easier and it stirred up a lot of anxiety. I couldn’t sleep last night and instead of laying in bed he stayed up with me just knowing the fact that I just wasn’t feeling that great. For all these bumps in the road you sometimes forget the good things, or even the great things that are to come. I decided to write this post to show maybe somebody else that everybody has bumps in the road. Its up to you to decide whether they’re just bumps. I hope this reaches the people it was meant to, and as always.
Today, I’ve been thinking and looking back at the past week. I was able to see my cousins who I missed so much! So happy to spend time with them when I get to. Finally got a starting date on my new job with Allstate! Which I’ll be working from home which is a whole new ball game for me and I couldn’t be more excited. I move in less than 34 days. I’ve been cleaning and cleaning and packing and more packing. I honestly never knew how many things I actually had! Back to my title, learn to let go.
Looking back at the past few months while starting my blog, I have been posting weekly. Sometimes daily, I’ve been trying so hard to keep new content up for you guys. My life has been chaotic and finally getting a second to breathe and put out a entry feels amazing. The past 3 months, I have had to LEARNto let go so many different things and obstacles that were out of my hands. Whether it was a toxic situation or things and certain situations that don’t make MEhappy. Trying to stay away from high anxiety situations which for anybody who has anxiety knows that’s basically impossible. I’ve now been trying to many different things and options and care more about ME. I always do whatever I can to make the other person happy in whatever situation I am in, and I now have started remembering that I am important, and I deservenot to be putdown or put in a situation I don’t wanna be in. Finally learningto just leave and let go of anything that I have to think more than 3 seconds on whether its good or bad for me. One of my friends tells me constantly that I need to not think twice about a bad situation and question whether it makes me happy or not. I am blessedfor the good people and situations I’ve been put in to get me where I am today. I am blessed. Letting go of bad situations and negative thoughts and people who only put me down. xoxo
One thing I wanna touch on today. Priorities are so important. We tend to tell ourselves what we can do throughout the day and what we can’t. It’s all perspective! I only can touch on this subject enough to show how truly sad it can leave when some of us don’t leave time for things that might be the best thing for us or the thing that brings true happiness. If you could take five minutes out of your day to maybe get off your phone, or socialmedia in general. Than go do whatever makes you genuinly happy for a little amount of time. No matter what is said, you always have time for anything. It’s whether you make it a priority on your to do list. Now go do it!
So everybody has seen the new trend of the new technology we have here on this lovely little earth. I am starting a job that is strictly from home for a Insurance Company. I am so excited to start this new adventure. I think of all the things now possible today and it makes me happy. Earth is advancing in amazing ways. Of course with all the negativity in todays society due to elections and bad people and just all in all world problems. I am pretty happy to say I am trying to find the greatness in every day to day thing. I will be posting a few posts about working from home for this experience so that maybe my journey will help you. This is a hourly job Monday through Friday, but you are commuting to work by computer! I am genuinely so excited. Any comments, and wanna see anything reviewed? Let me know!