scared

A Letter To You

Sitting here thinking about my life the past 5 years. I’ve met so many people, seen so many places and changed in so many ways.

My heart hurts saying goodbye to it all. I know it’s a “see you later” for friends who have become family, but I’ve never been good with change or goodbyes. I’ve never been easy to deal with or to love. I’m so thankful for the tribe I’ve made throughout the states we’ve moved to the past few years. Even though I’ve never thought I belonged, you made me feel like I did.

I wanted to go to my home. Some made up place or state in my head that was apparently somewhere I was happier or would be happy “finally”. I now know it will never be four walls. It’ll be four people or six people or eight people building me up and teaching me to love every piece of life and my body and everything the world has to offer.

I never loved Maine or New England but I love every single member of my tribe who kept me afloat when I was busy fighting myself.

Last but not least, thank you to my amazing husband who wings never falter, not even once. You keep and have kept me up when I didn’t know how to pick myself up time and time again even when sometimes I didn’t deserve it. Thanks for teaching me every inch of my body is perfect in its own way and that sometimes its okay to not be okay.

Today is a new day.

This month is almost to a end, things change and people change. It’s incredible to see what every new month brings my family and friends. This next month will bring a big move to a new state all over again. I am excited and also nervous to start a new job before going. If you’re like me you feel bad and get super sad over losing friends and even worse family members. Time seems to go on no matter what current of life you are taking. I am excited to start a new current, which I think is my most favorite one of all. Not constantly doing for everybody else and doing for myself. The next few months look challenging but I’ve done worse and I know I’ll do great. Everything takes time. Today is a new day.