I have been at a halt lately, trying to figure out somehow to writesomething worth reading. I keep having multiple things happen one after another. Wondering if that ever stops or if its just the story of life maybe? Emotions have ran rampage lately here in my mind. This halt has sucked truly, I absolutely love blogging and giving back as much as possible. I have been scared of the future while missing out on what’s happening around me. I have some scars and I’ve seen some things but I’m here now. Organizing your thoughts while moving constantly and trying to readjust into your own form of a comfort zone is more difficult than I ever imagined. This chapter is closing and will be wrote about at a much later date, maybe?
This basically is how scattered my mind is, separating real and impossible things in my head at the moment. Slowly but surely a work in progress. What’s amazing is so much progress has been made. I haven’t felt as good as I’ve been feeling right now in a long time. Many things are going on for sure but on top of that is always a silver lining. Enjoying these little moments and calming the waves down and learning to swim with the waves life has to offer.
So one of my bestfriends started selling a skin product called Nerium. I decided why not, I am all about
No Animal Testing
products! So I decided since it’s so hard to find good skin care to try it. I can say after waking up this morning with such a soft complexion and face. I gotta buy this stuff. The best part is I get to help a friend and it’s so amazing because I genuinely like the product. (Was nervous I wouldn’t). So yes, I am a happy camper. If you wanna try a amazing new skin care regimen that is so worth it. I’m so serious, I’ve been looking for something since it seems like forever. Leave a response! I can give you her information! I am becoming obsessed with this stuff!
Lately all I’ve been feeling is inspired. So so inspired. I always have my days where anxiety almost wins, but my inspiration has been beating anxieties ass lately. This makes me so happy. Moving in less than 13 days to a new state. All I am is inspired. My job that allows me to work from home has opened so many new doors for me! I am starting up a soap making hobby that I enjoy so much! Bubble Bars, Bath Bombs and Everything. All vegan and non harsh chemicals! It just all makes me so happy. A Hint of Koko has had some GREAT followers lately and thanks so much for all the love and support. XOXO
A week done with work and almost done with this week as well! It’s been insanely busy. Working for a pretty good company feels good. I also love being home in my office! We move in 13 days which seems unreal. I have so much packing and cleaning to do. I also wanted to announce I will be starting a Etsy and making Bubble Bars and Possibly Bath Bombs all vegan and natural of course! Much more to come In September of this year!! Trying to keep you guys updated! Love love love xoxo
So August is a huge and busy month for us. We move to Maine! I absolutely love my new house waiting for me there! It's right next to Portsmouth New Hampshire, I can walk! We all know how much moving costs and stresses. It has driven me up a wall. I also start a new job tomorrow.. Working from home nonetheless which is scary for me. It's something new that I've never done.
Closing a chapter of my life here in Connecticut and moving is such a big deal for me as my anxiety kicks in full force. I've been lagging on blog posts but have had so much to say to you guys! I'll be blogging more very soon. Trying to adjust and move at the end of this month. I'm ready for September!
On that note, I've been ready to scream from all the stress. I am so proud though, I've kept going and I've kept my head up through all the rough rides life has to offer to get me to where I am now.
Today, I’ve been thinking and looking back at the past week. I was able to see my cousins who I missed so much! So happy to spend time with them when I get to. Finally got a starting date on my new job with Allstate! Which I’ll be working from home which is a whole new ball game for me and I couldn’t be more excited. I move in less than 34 days. I’ve been cleaning and cleaning and packing and more packing. I honestly never knew how many things I actually had! Back to my title, learn to let go.
Looking back at the past few months while starting my blog, I have been posting weekly. Sometimes daily, I’ve been trying so hard to keep new content up for you guys. My life has been chaotic and finally getting a second to breathe and put out a entry feels amazing. The past 3 months, I have had to LEARNto let go so many different things and obstacles that were out of my hands. Whether it was a toxic situation or things and certain situations that don’t make MEhappy. Trying to stay away from high anxiety situations which for anybody who has anxiety knows that’s basically impossible. I’ve now been trying to many different things and options and care more about ME. I always do whatever I can to make the other person happy in whatever situation I am in, and I now have started remembering that I am important, and I deservenot to be putdown or put in a situation I don’t wanna be in. Finally learningto just leave and let go of anything that I have to think more than 3 seconds on whether its good or bad for me. One of my friends tells me constantly that I need to not think twice about a bad situation and question whether it makes me happy or not. I am blessedfor the good people and situations I’ve been put in to get me where I am today. I am blessed. Letting go of bad situations and negative thoughts and people who only put me down. xoxo
A piece in my head that I’ve yet to touch on as honestly I’ve been avoiding it. When the person you feel home with leaves you for six months, so many things happen and change. The scary part is, everybody changes in that long span of time. So whether you grow together or grow apart is totally up to the world. Not being in control of something nearly drove me off a cliff. Honestly I think this isn’t talked about enough. I tried looking for every book just to help me feel at peace? If that was even a real thing, I still don’t know. All I knew is I had never felt more alone in my life. As being somebody who suffers from anxiety and depression you feel like everyday is your last day with someone. Or at least you’re always scared it could be your last day with someone. That type of anticipation killed me from the inside out. I ended up going back to where I grew up in Florida. Now whether that was the best or worst thing in my life. It was all I could possibly do. Leaving my home with my babies and going to live somewhere we hadn’t known for years was scary, but staying was even more scary. I had tried to get into a routine and it seemed impossible for me. Things kept happening left and right. Months went by with not a word.. Not a email, not a voice, nothing. I began to shed and shed skin, tears, and even more. I went through such a transitionthat changed me as a person. All I could do was keep busy, I kept trying to do a million things until I got a job which was terrible. It made it even worse for me just with a little more money. Months went by and I finally had been as ready as I ever would be to go back to this temporaryhome of mine. Anticipation was killing me. I had lost hair, broke out with zits every single where over my face. If stress had a definition it’s name would be Evan. Homecoming finally came. Overall was the third best day of my life, I had never been happier to have him home. I am gonna touch more on this again at a later date, but this is part one of deployment.