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Rough Bumps

Decided to write a post about rough bumps in the road today.
After all, I do live in New England currently. (insert pothole here)

I’ve been trying to get better at processing my bad days and my good days. Lately its been a little difficult to do even that. Nobody genuinely talks about the shitty parts of depression and anxiety. Two huge things that have continued to ransack my days here lately. One positive thing is I am now able to realize which is which between just a bad day and me relapsing.

Seasonal depression has been a factor of my life for quite a while. I know once I post this, I will have the comments of, “Well you don’t look sad.”
Things like this do not help, nor are they anywhere near helpful. It only makes me more upset and anxious about explaining how I feel.

With all of that said, I have had very good times as well lately. Ollie is finally healing, he had a surgery done and wasn’t healing properly and had to have a second surgery. Which means my house has been super chaotic. This all leading to rough bumps in the road. I have my days as anybody with anxiety will know happens and I can’t begin to explain how difficult it is to deal with somebody like me. Marlon has been making this look like a cake walk. I only wish to have half the perseverance he has. Anybody with a spouse who has a mental disorder will understand this post. This past weekend we did a lot to help our move in 5 months be a little easier and it stirred up a lot of anxiety. I couldn’t sleep last night and instead of laying in bed he stayed up with me just knowing the fact that I just wasn’t feeling that great. For all these bumps in the road you sometimes forget the good things, or even the great things that are to come. I decided to write this post to show maybe somebody else that everybody has bumps in the road. Its up to you to decide whether they’re just bumps. I hope this reaches the people it was meant to, and as always.

xoxo

 

I aint worried about the wrinkles around my smile.

SCATTERED

 

I have been at a halt lately, trying to figure out somehow to write something worth reading. I keep having multiple things happen one after another. Wondering if that ever stops or if its just the story of life maybe? Emotions have ran rampage lately here in my mind. This halt has sucked truly, I absolutely love blogging and giving back as much as possible. I have been scared of the future while missing out on what’s happening around me. I have some scars and I’ve seen some things but I’m here now. Organizing your thoughts while moving constantly and trying to readjust into your own form of a comfort zone is more difficult than I ever imagined. This chapter is closing and will be wrote about at a much later date, maybe?

This basically is how scattered my mind is, separating real and impossible things in my head at the moment. Slowly but surely a work in progress. What’s amazing is so much progress has been made. I haven’t felt as good as I’ve been feeling right now in a long time. Many things are going on for sure but on top of that is always a silver lining. Enjoying these little moments and calming the waves down and learning to swim with the waves life has to offer.

xoxo, A Hint of KoKo…

Nerium

So one of my bestfriends started selling a skin product called Nerium. I decided why not, I am all about

  • Vegan
  • No Animal Testing
  • GlutenFree

products! So I decided since it’s so hard to find good skin care to try it. I can say after waking up this morning with such a soft complexion and face. I gotta buy this stuff. The best part is I get to help a friend and it’s so amazing because I genuinely like the product. (Was nervous I wouldn’t). So yes, I am a happy camper. If you wanna try a amazing new skin care regimen that is so worth it. I’m so serious, I’ve been looking for something since it seems like forever. Leave a response! I can give you her information! I am becoming obsessed with this stuff!

I believe in all things.

I’ve always been one of those people who gives every single person the benefit of the doubt until given a reason not to. Lately I’ve just been praying about things and situations and hoping that certain people in and out of my life understand that toxic situations for me can’t be handled like they use to. My body and mind is a Temple. And it must be treated that way, if we aren’t treating ourselves good. What good are we at the end of the day for our immediate household family. I’ll answer that, we are no good all used up. Stress and anxiety are nothing new to me. This is another obstacle that I’ll overcome and come out so much stronger on the other side.

Working from home

A week done with work and almost done with this week as well! It’s been insanely busy. Working for a pretty good company feels good. I also love being home in my office! We move in 13 days which seems unreal. I have so much packing and cleaning to do. I also wanted to announce I will be starting a Etsy and making Bubble Bars and Possibly Bath Bombs all vegan and natural of course! Much more to come In September of this year!! Trying to keep you guys updated! Love love love xoxo

Moving,Working & Screaming

So August is a huge and busy month for us. We move to Maine! I absolutely love my new house waiting for me there! It's right next to Portsmouth New Hampshire, I can walk! We all know how much moving costs and stresses. It has driven me up a wall. I also start a new job tomorrow.. Working from home nonetheless which is scary for me. It's something new that I've never done.

Closing a chapter of my life here in Connecticut and moving is such a big deal for me as my anxiety kicks in full force. I've been lagging on blog posts but have had so much to say to you guys! I'll be blogging more very soon. Trying to adjust and move at the end of this month. I'm ready for September!

On that note, I've been ready to scream from all the stress. I am so proud though, I've kept going and I've kept my head up through all the rough rides life has to offer to get me to where I am now.

Xoxo

Learn to let go.

Today, I’ve been thinking and looking back at the past week. I was able to see my cousins who I missed so much! So happy to spend time with them when I get to. Finally got a starting date on my new job with Allstate! Which I’ll be working from home which is a whole new ball game for me and I couldn’t be more excited. I move in less than 34 days. I’ve been cleaning and cleaning and packing and more packing. I honestly never knew how many things I actually had! Back to my title, learn to let go.

Looking back at the past few months while starting my blog, I have been posting weekly. Sometimes daily, I’ve been trying so hard to keep new content up for you guys. My life has been chaotic and finally getting a second to breathe and put out a entry feels amazing. The past 3 months, I have had to LEARN to let go so many different things and obstacles that were out of my hands. Whether it was a toxic situation or things and certain situations that don’t make ME happy. Trying to stay away from high anxiety situations which for anybody who has anxiety knows that’s basically impossible. I’ve now been trying to many different things and options and care more about ME. I always do whatever I can to make the other person happy in whatever situation I am in, and I now have started remembering that I am important, and I deserve not to be put down or put in a situation I don’t wanna be in. Finally learning to just leave and let go of anything that I have to think more than 3 seconds on whether its good or bad for me. One of my friends tells me constantly that I need to not think twice about a bad situation and question whether it makes me happy or not. I am blessed for the good people and situations I’ve been put in to get me where I am today. I am blessed. Letting go of bad situations and negative thoughts and people who only put me down. xoxo